Anatomy
by rurouni007
Summary: It's been done, yes, but it's my own personal take on Rapunzel's curiosity and Flynn's... Flynn-ness.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Again, kinda cliche. But I HAD TO DO IT. The plot bunnies were like Bunnicula, sucking at my very life-force. **

**Disclaimer: OH MY GOD If I didn't make it clear the last time that I don't own this amazing movie then you must be denser than a concrete wall.**

The thief, the girl with too much hair, the chameleon, and the horse all plodded along through the forest as they headed towards their destination. With nothing else to do but walk, Rapunzel was the one to break the awkward silence. Eugene had been sulking ever since Maximus had joined their party.

"Eugene, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course! I'm your guide for the day," he smoothly replies. Her voice was so gentle and pure that he didn't think he ever wanted to hear anyone else say his birth-name ever again.

"So Mother always says how men have pointy teeth and they're nothing but horrible, despicable creatures. She always calls men pigs, but then you pointed out that the pink things we saw earlier are-"

"So what exactly is your question?" Her mother called men pigs? Well, she was kind of right. Maximus, behind him, whinnies at his rudeness.

"Well, you _are_ human, right?" The inflection in her voice made him wonder if she honestly wasn't sure about that fact. Again, Maximus, that horse that won't shut up, neighs in laughter.

"Yes, Rapunzel, I have ten fingers and toes just like you," he deadpanned jokingly, trying to cover up his discomfort. She had never seen a man in her entire life, of course she would be curious. But this was dangerous territory. Especially since he was starting to realize that the flip-flopping feeling in his stomach was directly caused by her, and not from something he ate.

And that petrified him.

"I just wanted to know what the difference between men and women is…? Clearly Mother was wrong when she said you were pigs, and you're not despicable, you're really quite gentle and brave and kind!" she stated, quite pleased with herself. He had to try to cover up his incredulous look. No one ever said something like that to him. Period. He could only feel his ears getting warm from the sincere, innocent honesty. He had to cough to try to put the butterflies at bay.

"Well," Gulp. "Men have some anatomical differences. Like um," Awkward neck scratch. "You know how my voice is a lot deeper from yours?"

"Oh yes! I like it," she proclaimed, blushing to herself. Oh ho ho, so she likes his voice, eh? _And_ she was blushing! Confidence rising, he was starting to feel a lot better about plunging into more dangerous waters.

"I also can grow hair on my face," he said, pointing to his goatee. He was rather proud of that little patch of hair. It was definitely in tribute to the original Flynnigan Ryder illustrations in the books he read.

She seemed to be quite fascinated by the hair as well, and just felt so compelled to touch it, that touch it she did. Ever so lightly, she took her thumb and skimmed over it. Eugene could only feel his breathe catching, his mouth agape. His heart was stuck in his throat. He tried to swallow, but her nearness to his face and her slightly parted lips did not help the situation at all. Crap.

Pascal, hidden on her shoulder, was looking confusedly at him too, probably just as unsure as his human companion.

Eugene had to grit his teeth and count backwards from ten to make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Is that all that's different?" She would have been perfectly content if that was it, but she did notice that his body build was a lot… vaster than hers and her mother's.

"Men tend to be stronger than women," and he made his point by flexing his bicep with a cocky grin. Again, entranced, she had to feel it, but this time she searched his face for approval. He nodded, his ego rapidly increasing.

She realized that he had arms that seemed a lot more muscular than her own, and she wondered if that was what Mother meant when she said that Rapunzel was too delicate. Maybe she really was too fragile.

"Is that bad? I mean, my arm looks so - so -" She exhaled dejectedly. "Pathetic."

He actually laughed. Eugene was laughing at her! When she was really feeling bad! The sides of her mouth were starting to pull down.

"Woah, woah woah Blondie, hold on, you're pretty darn strong too. I mean, you can handle yourself pretty well with a frying pan, at the very least," he said, still trying to tame his chuckles.

"Okay, so, is that it? That's all that's different between-"

"Not so fast. I wasn't quite done! You know what, I think I'm going to have to give you a visual demonstration." At this, he waggled his eyebrows and had an incredibly cocky smirk growing on his face. If there was one thing he knew that the ladies loved, it was his perfectly toned body. Perfect pectorals, six-pack abs, he had the whole package.

So he started unbuttoning his vest but her face quickly flushed and she cried, "Wait!" Aww, and he was so excited to give her the perfect view. Honestly, he really wanted to see her reaction. Maybe she'd want to feel his muscles there too. He could only scold himself for being such a horrible person when she was truly just wondering.

"Mother says I'm not ever supposed to take any of my clothes off in front of anyone, even her!" Wow. What kind of mother said that? Geez.

"Well, that's another difference between men and women! Men don't have," A grimace and a gesticulation in her general chest area. "Those. So we don't have to cover them up."

"These?" She puts her hands on top of them. Crap, he's not going to be able to take this kind of torture. He delicately takes her wrists and brings her hands to his own chest. Flat. Her hands seem to spread a warmth throughout his whole body.

"What you have are used for feeding babies. I don't have that."

"Wait, why would I need to feed babies?"

"Because women are the ones that carry children?"

She could only give him an incredibly confused look. It's frustrating to her that she doesn't understand. Everything used to make perfect sense in her tower. And now she was just… dazed and confused. Out of her element. Waaaay out of her element.

"Okay, so here's where things get complicated. We have different insides too." Or so he was told by the doctor he used to go to whenever he got into a particularly bad bar fight or after a narrow escape from guards or bounty hunters.

"Your insides are meant to carry babies. My insides don't have that. Umm, men have the seed and women have it grow inside-"

"Wait, there would be something growing _inside_ me?" She looked ready to faint. Oh no no no, this was too much for her at once.

"Rapunzel, don't worry. Hey. Relax." He took her chin in his thumb and forefinger and lifts her face up to his. He gives her his best reassuring smile, trying to take away all the pressure. She blushes a bit and intensely looks back into his eyes. All he had to focus on now was not letting his legs turn to jelly.

"Okay," she said, so trusting.

"Just… think of it this way. Where did you come from?"

"I… don't know!"

"Well, believe it or not, you came from inside your mother!"

Her mouth dropped in shock. "_Wow_!"

"Pretty incredible, huh?"

She let out an awestruck breath. "Yeah. Definitely! …Wow."

She looked him up and down. "Did you come out of your mother that tall?"

Flynn honestly can't control himself. He laughs, he genuinely laughs, something he has been doing a lot around her. She's the only one that's made him do that.

"Do you remember being as tall as you are now, say, ten years ago?"

She takes one of her hands from his chest and taps her chin pensively. Immediately he felt dramatically disappointed, but savored the one hand that remained there.

"Oh."

"Heh, 'oh' is right. See? That's what people do. Actually, what everything does! You're born, you grow up, you have kids of your own, you die. And that's life," he says matter-of-factly. But when he says the word "die," she visibly flinches. Maybe these were too many heavy topics for him to go over so soon. This was still only her second day out of the tower. There were just so many things for her to learn about, and he knew she didn't like her ignorance, but… some of these subjects just couldn't be avoided. Damn. His conscience wasn't going to stop nagging him for saying such dumb things now.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" But she's perked up again, eyes as alight as ever. A lopsided grin spreads across his face. He could get used to seeing those eyes everyday.

"So do you bleed every month too?"


	2. Chapter 2

"So do you bleed every month too?"

At this, Flynn visibly blanches. Maximus looks about ready to fall over in laughter. The thief looks at Rapunzel once, and then does the smartest thing a man could do in his situation.

He ran away. Far, far away. Without looking back.

THE END


End file.
